Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
