pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize