he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
a search helicopter?!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
