is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
