good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She just used a chaser for red wine.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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