I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This is my gift to your gina
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
