2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
