But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
