ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
