me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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