And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
