She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize