I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A+ Viking dick
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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