I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
