the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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