One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
