Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
