Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize