just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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