I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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