the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
