it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Brb crying the tears of my youth
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
