Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
