He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i think i just lost a toe
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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