I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
