Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
