return my video game
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
