And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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