I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
