No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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