Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
