I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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