Having a random hookup so left but love u
Screwed.edu
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
