you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
