after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
