i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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