so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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