All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
