Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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