and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
