i already hear my dad disowning me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
