even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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