I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Randomize
