Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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