I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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