The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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