doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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