did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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