My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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