Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
