i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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