He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
