we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
