Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
