i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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