Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
