I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
