I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
