are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
