this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
it glows. i had to have it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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