We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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