Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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