This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
