1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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