I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
