Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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