im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
