If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize