hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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