morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
