guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
