I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
