the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
